Grief is tangible for those who have lost a loved one. No two people experience grief the same way, even if they’ve shared the same loss. 

Grief is not limited to the loss of a loved one. Traumatic experiences like losing your home, a disease fundamentally altering your life or appearance, a miscarriage or finding out you cannot have a child —many experiences can trigger grief.

What is grief?

Grief is a natural human response to loss. It shows itself in many ways. Grief moves in and out of stages from disbelief and denial, to anger and guilt, to finding a source of comfort, to eventually adjusting to loss. With grief, it’s not about getting back to where you were — it’s coming to terms with a “new” normal.

Anticipatory grief vs. sudden loss

Anticipatory grief happens when a loss is expected, such as when a loved one dies after a long illness. Anticipating the loss can be as painful and stressful as the actual loss itself. Anticipatory grief allows you to prepare for the inevitable loss. 

Anticipatory grief can include the discomfort of helping a loved one’s funeral arrangements or being involved in a loved one’s care.

Sudden loss occurs unexpectedly, like a fatal accident or heart attack. Such experiences can leave survivors shocked and confused. 

Loved ones are often left with many questions, unresolved issues and a range of emotions — including anger, guilt and pain. Support from family, friends and clergy can be vital for people experiencing sudden loss.

The symptoms of grief

It's natural to experience many symptoms of grief. These can include physical, emotional and spiritual symptoms.

• Physical symptoms of grief may include:
• A lack of energy and fatigue
• Headaches, nausea and digestive problems
• Sleep disturbances, like insomnia or sleeping more than usual
• Changes in behavior, such as overworking or feeling like you have “nervous energy”

Emotional symptoms of grief include:

• Mental lapses, lack of focus and distraction
• Irritability
• Emotional swings from depression to feelings of euphoria
• Being quick to anger or feeling resigned to situations

Spiritual symptoms of grief feature:

• Feeling closer to — or outraged at — God
• Feeling stronger in your faith or doubting your beliefs 

Helping someone with grief

Those who’ve encountered a significant loss may find it hard to feel joy in anything, being acutely aware that people and things they love can be taken at any moment.

They also may savor joyful moments because they appreciate how fleeting that happiness can be. Little acts can make a big difference, such as:

• Sending a card or note to let them know you are thinking of them.
• Preparing food or doing household chores.
• Providing childcare to give them time alone or to handle other tasks.
• Being there for them in whatever capacity they need.
• Showing sincere patience and understanding — giving them time to speak or just be in your company.

How to cope with abnormal bereavement

As we said at the beginning, no two people experience grief the same way. Some move through the phases of grief quickly, some slowly, but eventually achieve peace with their loss.

Others need more help.

A primary care provider can connect you with resources that help, including referrals to mental health providers like psychiatrists and therapists. Medication and talk therapy are proven ways to help you copy with grief and loss.

If a friend or loved one is experiencing abnormal bereavement — which can include prolonged physical illness, depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety and more — be there for them and connect them with services they need. 

At Willowbrooke at Tanner, we offer free, confidential assessments and effective treatments for people experiencing intense grief. You can reach these services by phone at 770-812-9551 at any time. 

For more on ways we can help, visit WillowbrookeAtTanner.org.